please, don't die on me

May 8th, 2012

when-i-recover:

Submission by http://hyperactive-hero.tumblr.com/
Edit by Nikki

48 notes

when-i-recover:

Submission by http://hauntingmemories.tumblr.com/
Edit by Nikki

22 notes

May 7th, 2012

i have this blog so that i can help others, but sometimes i just need it. to break down, to let myself out.

everything is going perfect. i have a full-time job, close friends, i’m no longer stuck in a shit relationship. i found someone who im starting to really care about. i’ve began GED classes, and am getting my permit. but something just isn’t right. it’s like the depression overtakes everything good. and the more things i have going for me, the more the sadness overtakes me. i know how it feels to have a shit life. with nowhere to turn and no place to go.. and i feel like a piece of shit complaining about my life, the way it is now. but i’ve been cutting. and it’s getting worse. i won’t let myself cut too deep, won’t release the pain i know is burrowing inside, but it’s becoming beyond that. i want to die. people don’t understand just how easy it would be to go. just grab a bottle of pills from my room, find a bridge.. or a car. i’ve planned, in detail how i could do it. how i will, someday. counseling doesn’t help. neither do the pills. depression, anxiety.. it’s bullshit. the ‘happy pills’ are like sugar. do me a favor and create a pill that doesn’t make me want to slit my throat anymore. that makes me say, hey, i’m fucking happy. not fuck this, i’m done. because that’s what i need. not someone with a diploma telling me all the fucked up things inside my head. trust me, i know. i live inside this body, with this mind. & i know i shouldn’t feel this way. all i’m asking is that someone finds a way to stop it, before i do.